Most of all I just want to know whose fault this is.
First of all, fuck whoever thought resurrecting Ian Holm was a good idea. The thought that an actor, since deceased, would be forced back into service for a role he originated is profane on a level that actually hurts. Eventually we all die, and we go away, and new people take our place. You’re telling me they couldn’t find a single person to play the top half of an android? Hell, there’s probably a stuntman who is missing his legs who could’ve been even more interesting (and mobile) in the role.
This is a movie too terrified of its own place in the pantheon of Alien films and thus never takes a single risk. Everything is so by-the-numbers that the few interesting ideas really stick out, like they are from another movie.
The idea that Weyland-Yutani is not just evil, but actual maniacal bastards, is actually kind of lame. The whole thing is they are not evil by choice, just by their unwavering dedication to being profitable. That’s the chilling part. If they’re just psychotically chasing and breeding aliens, that’s dumb as shit.
The real nail in the coffin, though, is the constant, constant callbacks and references. It’s like that one scene in Rogue One where Dr. Evazen and Ponda Baba show up for no reason at all except for every Star Wars nerd to whistle and point like the Leo meme. It deflates a lot of the terror when we know exactly how fucked what we’re seeing is long before the characters do.
Two hours is probably one setpiece/fuck-finish too long, but that’s the Fede Alvarez trademark, baybee!